You want to go which way???

This past Friday, I was going to lunch with some coworkers, and we took the Red line a few stops. As we're exiting the station, there are two escalators to take you out. One to take you to the turnstile and another to take you above ground. Now anyone who rides metro knows that there are always two escalators going before the turnstile. One that takes you to the train and one that takes you away from the train. I've occasionally seen kids go the wrong way on the escalator just for fun. But Friday I saw a rather elderly guy huffing and puffing his way up the down escalator. I have no idea why he decided he needed to go up the wrong way, but he was clearly struggling to the point that I wasn't sure if I should ask if he needed help. His legs were tiring, but he wasn't going to give up. If you're wondering, he was wearing business attire so this wasn't some work out routine. No he was carrying a bag of some sort and working his way up the wrong escalator. By the time I came across him, he only had a few more steps to go. I watched him for a few seconds deciding what to do, in the end deciding that he clearly wasn't going to take any help either myself or my coworker would offer. I didn't stick around to see whether he made it. Never ceases to amaze me what people will do.

Always a joy

I love people that load up on the cologne before they go into work. Especially when it's super sweet smelling, like rotting flowers. Oh, and if they have really bad breath and breathe on you the entire commute in, that's fantastic as well. If you hit your head on the plastic hand straps that hang from the ceiling poles, that makes for a fun commute. Finally, if you read in the paper about how the board of directors for metro don't ride the train or bus with any consistency during the year because it's not convenient for their commute, you must have been sitting with me today as I rode into work and you are ecstatic.

Single tracking

Probably the most aggravating two words a metro rider will ever hear are "single tracking." This means that whatever lines are running in a particular direction are restricted over a set space to one line only. In other words, it blows. Invariably these always show up when you're in a hurry. Unlike on the beltway when people will jump on the shoulder if they're in a hurry, you have no where to go when this happens. Forget any immediate plans that you had because you're going to be sitting. Those two words ruin anyone's day because you automatically add 20-30 minutes onto your commute. That and the odds are that you are stopping and starting the entire single track stretch, so best of luck if you have motion sickness. If it's a cold day, like today, you have the joy of having the heat blasting with all the stopping and starting. You are at the mercy of public transportation. Fantastic times.

Actual conversation from actual rider

Credit to 'stock for this story:

You are blonde and on a bus, when you suddenly fart. Luckily the music is very loud.

So every time you fart, you time it with the music.

When you start making your way to the door as you exit the bus Everybody is throwing dagger looks at you, and you suddenly
realize. ............

You're listening to your IPod !

Chatty Metro Engineer

Here's to you chatty metro engineer. You forced me to jack up my iPod almost all the way so I could listen to your cheerful droning of the rules and regs of Metro. We all know stand right, walk left on the escalator (except for tourists). We all know let everyone exit before you board. We all know use all of the doors. Was it necessary to fill all of the time, except 10-15 seconds of blissful silence, between stops with your reminders? Finally by National Airport, you ran out of gas and were only saying "Doors on the right." Next time, keep it down. I might have a conference call on the ride home.

Clever ad

I saw an ad at Metro Center earlier this week that I found very clever. There are three different versions consisting of a mermaid, big foot, and unicorn all holding a piece of coal. No words on the ad. Just the picture of the mythical being holding the coal. Great ad campaign. Props for running it metro.

Panhandlers

When done right, these people can actually add some to the metro ride. For instance the sax player who claims he was a lawyer and then decided to play for a living. Fun to listen too. The asian dude with either a souped up zither or dulcimer. Fun to listen too. The random mariachi band that shows up around May 5. Fun to listen too. The brothers that bang out some sweat beats with nothing but a bunch of plastic buckets. Really fun to listen too. The acapella group at Metro Center. Fun to listen too.

These people I like. The random dudes who walk around peddling useless crap, like the multicolored, flashing LEDs for your cell phone or as a necklace. Those guys drive me a little crazy.